Wow

I sat down to write a year-end thing, and looking through what I posted for 2011 just depressed me.  I need to vow that 2012 will not be like this.  I have to snap out of this... I don't even know what to call it.  I'm lost.  I have to wake up!

So much to say, and yet I don't say it

1.  Paul.  He was accepted into the full-time gifted program at a different elementary school.  He was also officially diagnosed with ADHD, most likely a result of neurological damage from his premature birth.  Because he wasn't really thriving at the school he attended from K to 3rd (partially the fault of the ADHD, I know), I decided to take the opportunity and switched him.  We also began experimenting on him like a little guinea pig with ADHD medications.  The first one was a failure, with negligible results.  Next up, amphetamines - generic for Adderall.  The difference is astounding.   Homework formerly took all night, with Paul getting up from his desk and wandering away every ten minutes if I wasn't right there to nag him back at it.  Most nights he wouldn't finish.  I reacted very badly on more than one occasion, and it killed any hopes of us ever having any weeknight family activities.  It was awful and crippling.  He's been on the amphetamines for a week now, and homework gets done cheerfully and quickly, he finishes most of his work in class, he finishes tests within the allotted time.  We've gone to the hot tub more than one night.  Next week I might let him start going back to Cub Scouts (we couldn't afford the spare time before).  Tonight he finished his homework and then happily spent hours drawing pictures of Phineas & Ferb characters.  I don't even have words for my joy.  I may cry once I accept that it's all real.  There are side effects, but nothing hideous so far.  The most notable difference is that now he will talk my ear off if I let him.

2.  Eli.  Everything comes easily for him.  I have no doubt he'll be identified as gifted, since I guesstimate his IQ is 130 at a minimum.  He learns fast, draws conclusions based on the evidence he observes and infers, has tons of friends.  Everything that is difficult and hard-fought for Paul is natural and thoughtless for him.  As a result, he is the more neglected of the two.  I am so very, very grateful to have a child who I don't worry about.  Eli is still willful at times, but he is so drastically improved from the wild savage that he was before.  He is already a straight-A student, even correcting mistakes in the homework he is assigned. Paul (and I really do weep for joy about this), instead of being jealous, is as proud as can be of his brother.  Their love for each other, even though they fight like wild dogs at times, gives me hope that I'm not the worst mother ever.  An example of how much E loves P:  Paul hates speaking in front of people, so when we were practicing for the annual children's program at church, Paul was full of anxiety and clung to me, crying that he did not want to perform his part.  Eli came up, asked why Paul was sad, and when I explained it to him said, "Don't worry Paul, I'll say your parts."  I admit, I got weepy. 

There is more, but I'm out of time for the night.  Next time, band news.

Cruel, CRUEL! Cruel Summer...

My little sis was naggin' me, and I occasionally listen to her, so here's a summary of summer.

1. Just before school was out, my cousin (once removed) Allyne came from China to hang out with me for a week or so.  We spent some time getting her essential supplies that she can't get in China, but then we tried to do some cultural stuff too.  We drove into LA, saw the Street Art exhibit at MOCA (which was cool, even if the Times Art review was pretty scathing), ate awesome Japanese pastries and stopped in Cerritos for Indian food.  Fun Fact:  Allyne had her senior prom this year (in China), and I went to a prom for grown-ups (here in the USA).  We wore the same dress, completely by accident.

2.  Cub Scout Day Camp.  5 days of wild Cub Scout toomfoolery for Paul.

3.  The Annual Clemens Family Beach Campout.  It's the same every year - seven days at San Clemente State Beach with D's family.   This year I packed my bike, and that was a very nice sanity saver.  I rode all the way down to the end of San Onofre SP & back, but didn't go down Trail 6 to see if there were any nude activists down at the beach. ;)  I also rode the bike route through San C.  There are some lovely charity shops and I always enjoy my treasure hunts through them.

4.  Had a couple of gigs thrown in between other stuff.  Oh, there's band news, but I'll get to that after summer!

5.  Drove to Arizona with the boys.  My China cousins were going to be there, and I hadn't seen them in ages.  The drive out was rotten (took closer to 12 hours than 9!) and then I woke up the next day with a fever while staying at my friend Nicole's house.  Her Russian mother-in-law took care of me (which meant feeding me a great deal of dairy products and hot herbal teas) as I shivered miserably under blankets on the couch.  I went outside in the 100+ degree weather and felt comfortable, that's how feverish I was!  I owe them a really, really nice thank-you gift. I managed to recover enough to drive to my Aunt & Uncle's small ranch in southeast AZ.  We stayed for a few days and the boys had a grand time being spoiled by Uncle Reed, riding horses and eating homemade ice cream and Aunt Karen's beloved tacos.  Dan flew in for the weekend and got to visit with everybody. Then we headed back to the Phoenix area and stayed a night with my Unitarian minister activist friend Carolina and her new husband Jim (who's a peach), and Carolina's adult son John.  Lovely times. 

After Dan flew home I went up to stay with STEPHANIE for a few days.  Steph and I have been friends for a looooong time, she's as loyal as they come and I adore her.  The boys played with her little Annie and we thrift-shopped and made delicious food and were just comfortable.  I had dinner with Cynde, who I hadn't seen for probably fifteen years, and her handsome husband.  Then, the China Contingent came in and I drove back to the ranch with them.  I drove to Fort Thomas to see where my Grandma Mabel lived as a little girl, then to Morenci (which is, I kid you not, a mining company town in the middle of nowhere) to visit my cousin Julie and finally see her daughter.  Then I had an amusing misadventure finding Uncle Reed's family cabin.  All ended well and we had a delightful night reading excerpts from Twilight to each other until we broke down in giggles.  I drove back with Lee, Allyne and Emma in the car with me - Eli was the only male there and I realized how sad I am that I have so few female friends close by.  I have so few opportunities to be girly.

Drove home through Yuma so I could visit my beloved  Unca J & Aunt Joan.  Then, while driving through the Imperial Valley (which is a hot, hot desert), the A/C quit.  I had frozen bottles of water in the cooler and bandannas in the glove box, so we tied wet bandannas around our heads and held frozen bottles to our necks and survived.  I tied mine under my chin and felt like a glamour girl from the 50's.  Except for the sweat.


6.  Had about three days to recover from AZ and get packed for a week-long family backpacking trip.  E stayed at Gramma's, and D, P, and me all hiked the Rae Lakes Loop. 

We had allotted eight days for it, but P was a complete rockstar and we did it in less than six days.  He wanted to stay at Gramma's house, dangit, and if he had to hike farther every day to achieve that goal, then he would! And he did.  It was great and exhausting and deserves a post of its own.

Then we had about two weeks before school started.  We were mostly very lazy, and it was lovely.

How was your summer?

Hoo Boy

The dining room/office is mostly complete.  Not settled into yet, but assembled and installed.  It's not as elegant as I had hoped for, but after getting a quote of over $800 for two cabinets from a local shop, I'm still glad we'ev mostly cheaped out.

I've been culling and culling and will probably cull more.  We got an "inspection report" from the management service here at the park, and I spent hours and hours cleaning up the yard and trying to address the things they were nitpicking with us about.  When they re-inspected, they just left me a xerox of their original report!  I was peeved, and I still am.  

I have removed all the geraniums and privet hedges from the west side of the house.  I decided we couldn't afford the custom metal trellises, so I'm building them out of wood.  I've also removed all the gravel from the northwest corner of our lot and will build a 8'x11'x6" cedar box, fill it with the dirt I'm going to remove from our perimeter, level it and make a flat patio area where we can have chairs & a table. 

I planted flowers along our picket fence - penstemon, sweet peas, hollyhocks, larkspur, zinnia, salvia, coreopsis.  They look very pretty.  I found four large eggplant-purple planters at a a local discount store and I put them along the front porch.  They've been planted with eggplant, peppers, New Zealand spinach, tomatillos and chard.  I tucked flowers in-between and behind them.  The yard itself is just dirt (I'll seed it with Eco Lawn in November), with one raised bed (planted with peppers and some kale that miraculously hasn't gone to seed yet).  I planted tomatoes along the fence and they are coming up beautifully. 

Inside, there is still soooooo very much to be done.  I need to be even more ruthless than before, and I need to stop being so very, very lazy.  Progress is slow, but it's still happening. 

I am struggling with whether or not to send Paul back to school for fourth grade.  The psych evaluation told me what I already pretty much knew - he's classic ADHD and very smart.  She has suggested that we try neurofeedback, which our insurance will miraculously cover.  NFB is unproven, but it is also harmless, and I'm tempted to try it.  Medication is also an option.  I haven't made a choice yet.

I have no worries about Eli.  Kindergarten was great for him and for me.  He's come such a long way and the wild animal that he was is disappearing, replaced by a charming boy who has just the appropriate level of mischief.  Now if I can keep them from each other's throats all summer, we'll have a grand time.

The Funk

It was not the worst funk I've ever had, but it certainly put the kibosh on my getting much of anything accomplished.  I've been an emotional skeleton crew for the last month or so, and I'm just starting to wake up from it.

Things are going nicely with the band.  We've had two paying gigs so far and eventually I'll break even on my investments.  The pay is miserable but that's not why I'm doing it - it's an outlet and a growth opportunity, plus I genuinely like Dave & Dan and it's fun to hang out with them once a week and play & sing.  We are still searching for a drummer - the first one was a friend of Dave's who felt he wasn't ready to be playing live just yet and had to drive too far anyway, and the second we had for about a month.  He was the best of the drummers who tried out with us, but he gradually started creeping us out and for me the final straw was when he showed up at our Farmer's Market gig with a porn star sticker on his bass drum.  Yuck.  There were little girls sitting right in front of us while we played.  It wasn't an explicit image, but it was objectification and the implications were obvious.  I was mortified.  Luckily the guys also had misgivings about him and ended it. 

We went on the annual Grand Canyon backpacking trip.  Paul was great, a real seasoned pro.  Eli did a great job with the hiking, but not such a great job with the personal cleanliness and bathroom aspects.  He's just not ready for long hiking trips, so we've decided that he won't be going on our week-long trip this summer.

OK, that's all I have in me for now.

Immersion

I've been attempting to ward off a deep blue funk, plus our computer is down.  I'm doing everything through D's laptop, which I do not enjoy.  I've been immersing myself in undemanding fiction and trying to keep things light, so there isn't much to tell, really.  The office is now about 85% put together; the last few steps are my responsibility and I've slacked a bit while fighting off the sadness.  It will be done very soon.

The band has had two very low-key performances so far, which went well.  I think I am finally relaxing into the role.  We've been auditioning drummers and have found a fellow who really knows what he's doing.  The question is - will he stick with us?  Since we are an original band we don't make the kind of money cover bands can.  I'm not in it for money, so it's of little importance to me, but when we first auditioned him he indicated he was accustomed to $50 a gig at minimum, which he will not make with us.  Dave (guitarist) made that clear, but the drummer has come back to rehearse with us since then so we shall see.

We still haven't installed new windows.  We've had two quotes, one very reasonable but I have an instinctual dislike of the business owner.  The other quote was 3 times the price, and again I felt a great aversion to the salesman.  But I need to get the trellis installed NOW if I want to grow anything worthwhile on it for the summer.  The trellises will look more or less like this:

They'll be 12 or so feet tall and span the front of the house, which I think is about 24 feet or so.  I was thinking about having them powder-coated in a deep raspberry color, because when we replace the window trim I want to paint the new trim a deep saturated purple.  I'll keep the house white, paint the front door raspberry as well, and maybe the porch railings in the deep purple.  Of course, if the HOA says no then I have to come up with a new plan.  Grumble, grumble.

I Am Not Exactly an Urban Homesteader

For the benefit of my friends who don't follow the urban homesteading movement, a quick explanation:  a family in Pasadena that has been doing wonderful work on educating about self-sufficiency and urban agriculture has suddenly suffered from some kind of fit of self-importance and decided to trademark the phrase "urban homestead" and a few other related phrases.  They have sent threatening letters to a number of bloggers, news websites, and the authors of the book "The Urban Homestead."  This has caused quite a tempest in the urban homesteading community and there is a campaign underway to flood the sphere with the dubiously trademarked phrases.  Here's my contribution.

I am not really an urban homesteader.  First off, I live in about as sub-urban a town as you're ever going to find.  Second, because I live in an incredibly expensive suburban area and have chosen to be a stay-at-home mother, we own a manufactured home on a very small lot.  Third, we've only owned the place for a few months and I am starting from scratch, so aside from two 4'x8' raised beds (that don't get enough sun and are only partially planted so far) and a fence full of pea vines, we're not even close to producing one dinner's worth of vegetables.  There are a lot of plans, and someday you'll all be amazed at what comes out of my tiny patch of dirt, but for now I am at square one.

However, my heart is in this thing 100%.  There is an indescribable glory in knowing that you're responsible for nurturing something you're going to eat.  The peas started flowering this week, and that's immensely satisfying.  The broccoli florets are small but growing.  Once we get the windows replaced in front, I'm going to have a trellis made that will span the whole front of the house, which is west-facing.  The trellis will be used to grow climbing squash, runner beans, indeterminate tomatoes and maybe even nasturtiums (which are edible too!).  It will shade my house and save me from the temptation to use the air conditioner.  

I'm not a novice at this - I had an extensive vegetable garden and a flock of eight chickens when we were renting a house for a couple of years.  I learned from books and websites and my own mistakes.  I learned nothing from the Dervaes family - the folks who have started this little storm with a misguided attempt to monopolize a movement they have no right to control. I never found their website all that helpful, although I appreciate that they offer classes & tours, I'm too far away from them to take advantage. I'm not angry at them, just puzzled by the belief that a movement can be trademarked and owned.  The idea of urban homesteading isn't new - people have had kitchen gardens and brewed their own drinks and raised chickens in cities for pretty much as long as there have been cities.  So I fervently hope that this dispute gets settled on the side of fairness & openness, not on the side of ownership and intimidation.